


Like A Band-Aid

by sodunwithyou



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Recovery, Self-Harm, not much happens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2016-03-05
Packaged: 2018-05-24 23:30:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6171067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sodunwithyou/pseuds/sodunwithyou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It's just a coping method."</p><p>That's what Pete liked to tell himself, but the coping method was becoming more and more of a drug. It was a reminder of something a little more, like a teaser of what could be, and his resolve was cracking with every new day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like A Band-Aid

“It’s a coping method, just a coping method,” Pete muttered to himself as he let the elastic band slap against his skin once more. There are angry red lines crisscrossed up his forearm about as high as the band would go, the lines burnt under calloused fingers as he cautiously ran his fingers over the raised skin. He let his eyes fall shut, relishing in the stinging pain, in the way the skin seemed to buzz, it was raised of it they were scars but come tomorrow his wrist would appear to be a clean canvas. Or as clean as they can be.

His counsellor suggested it, said it was a better alternative, that there were no risks. But that why was it was a risk, because Pete loved the pain and he was teetering on the edge of it being enough, but in Patrick’s room was a blade that would definitely provide the release he needed and he _wanted_ , he wanted _so bad_.

Just run the cool knife edge across the bumps in his skin, watch his life flow from him in red rivers from red skin.

_Red._

He wanted red.

“It’s a coping method.” Pete whispered the words again, another sharp slap as he hurried to his wardrobe finding a red cardigan that was almost definitely Patricks and would definitely do the trick. He slipped it on, smiling a little at all the red and at the stinging and the way the material scratched his skin. He was okay. He was going to be okay.

“Morning,” Patrick smiled, coffee in hand as he beamed up at Pete. He’d probably been up for hours already, it was closer to afternoon than Pete cared to admit. It was even possible he’d heard Pete’s heaved sobs, but he’d taken precautions, he’d shoved his hand into his mouth and bit down hard as he let the shower rain down on him.

No.

Patrick hadn’t heard a thing because Pete hadn’t wanted him to.

“Morning,” it was a sigh more than anything, a sad excuse at sounding ready to face what was left of the day.

“Andy and Joe were going to come round,” Patrick reminded him gently, frowning in concern as he watched his boyfriend bustle around the kitchen.

Pete nodded, forcing out a fake smile, “yeah, yeah I remember, that’s cool.”

“Just to hang out, you know,” Patrick smiled easily, reminding him there was no pressure. Trying to convey that it didn’t matter his lyric book lay empty and untouched by his bed. Nope. Didn’t matter.

“Yeah. Nice.” He sat down next to Patrick, carefully taking sips of the coffee as it ran down his throat with a pleasant burn.

A hand forced it down to the table, “it looks hot Pete.”

 _I deserve it._ “It’s fine ‘Trick, just getting ready to start the day.”

“Well take your time, I love you, I don’t like seeing you hurting,” there were pale fingers gently resting on his wrist, pale blue eyes boring into his soul with concern.

“I think, uh, I’m gunna make a phone call quick,” Pete rushed the words out, slipping out of Patrick’s grasp and away from the gentle eyes because he didn’t _deserve_ it. He didn’t. His hands were shaking as he typed on his phone, scrolling through the contacts.

“You okay?” Tyler answered immediately, skipping the pleasantries because Pete always texts before phoning unless it’s an emergency.

“I. God, Ty, I can’t.” His breaths were coming in short gasps, chest tightening as his wrists begged to burn a little more.

“It’s okay Pete, you’re okay. We have bad days, you’ll be okay.”

“How do you do it?”

Tyler turned to the figure beside him, Josh was politely trying not to listen as he watched another X-files rerun, he had an easy smile on his face and one hand resting on Tyler’s thigh, just a warm presence reminding him he was there. “I have someone I love, who reminds me why I don’t need to do it. You do too Pete. Talk to him.”

There was silence for a minute, so quiet that Tyler checked Pete hadn’t hung up, “I don’t know how.”

“I think you do. Like a Band-Aid. Rip it like a Band-Aid.”

“I love you Ty.”

He was returned with a soft chuckle, “I love you too Pete, take care okay? We all care about you.”

“I can.” And then he hung up.

Okay.

Pete can be okay. “’Trick?”

“Yeah?” Patrick was all soft gazes and gentle touches and concern and caring. Pete didn’t want to burden him.

He thought back to the moment Patrick saw the scars on his wrist, how he kissed them and told him he’d always be there, that he didn’t want him to hurt anymore, that he wanted to help.

He thought to when he took the pills in his car, how Patrick was one of his last clear thoughts, how he got him through the abyss.

He thought of how he woke up with a red-eyed Patrick next to him, how he still smiled sadly at him, kissed his head and said he’d be there with him for every single step.

Patrick could help.

“It’s getting bad,” and then he broke, sobs slipping from his mouth before he could stop them. He found himself in warm arms, with whispered comforts in his ear and soft lips pressing feather kisses to his skin. “Nothing permanent, I just, it’s a band. But, I want to, Trick I want to.”

Patrick pulled back, making Pete meet his gaze, “that’s brilliant Pete, because you haven’t done anything wrong. You’re just coping, that’s good. We’re getting there, recovery isn’t a one way track, there’s ups and downs and relapses. But once we get you healthy again it’ll be so worth it Pete. We’re getting there together, we’re going to be okay.”

Okay.

And by some miracle Pete could believe him.

**Author's Note:**

> This came out of a very dark moment for me in an attempt to deal with it 'healthily'. If you ever need someone to talk to I will always try to be there for you.
> 
> Tumblr: whatisdunisdun 
> 
> I'm kind of open to prompts rn. So, if you have anything hmu.  
> Stay alive frens |-/


End file.
